Stuff.
I know nobody will read this or probably even care, but I’ll use this to vent everything out since Twitter is far too short for me. Well, lately things haven’t really been the best and it’s been hard. I know relationships aren’t easy, but I just feel like everything is being thrown at us from every angle. I know you’re sorry for what you’ve done but sometimes I feel like you only make an effort to get what you want, and when you have it, the effort just disappears. I’m sorry but relationships don’t work that way, you have to keep at it to make sure it works - you don’t just let one person make all the effort and you just sit down and watch it all pass by. It’s hard to be the only one doing everything, but it’s also hard to walk away from someone you love, so I really am stuck in the middle with this situation. When you enter a relationship, you should know your job as a guy and what your role is in the relationship, and if you don’t know what’s expected from you then why enter one? I feel like you’re a completely different person to the person I first met. You used to love talking to me all night, loved going out and just plain chilling. But now, I can’t even talk to you without other things catching your attention. You may think, “oh this is so pathetic” but it’s different from a girls point of view. I don’t ask for many things, but I think one of the best and important things you can give to a girl is your attention. I remember the days where we used to skype all night, talking and laughing about the most stupidest things; and now it’s just an awkward silent and you doing other things on the other side of the phone. I wait for you to talk, or maybe even stop everything you’re doing just to talk to me - just like you used to. Then I end up angry and moody because I feel alone and not as important as other things. It shouldn’t be that way, as a boyfriend it’s your responsibility to make sure your girl feels loved and that she’s okay. But no, sometimes I have to tell you what to do and what your job is, which is just completely wrong. If many other guys can do it, then why can’t you? I miss the feeling when you actually made me feel loved, and when I didn’t need to worry about anything. Now, all I ever do is worry, be paranoid and stay up late at night to think through everything. There are other things I wish I could say but it’s far too private for this. I’m not saying I don’t love you and that I hate this relationship, because trust me the way I feel is the complete opposite. I love you more than anything that I’ve even stuck with you for this long and have taken you back after what you’ve done. This relationship means the world to me, but it’s just sooooo unbelievably hard when you’re doing all of this. You used to be this guy who was such a gentleman, who knew what he was doing and knew what he wanted out of this. But now, I feel like you don’t even look after me. I just wish you’d changed and become a better boyfriend, not a better person, but a better boyfriend. Rant over.
The end :) x
Base By: Jahrenesis
